Popsicle sticks

"Mom, I need some Popsicle sticks for a school project." "Ok, There are some in the Art room closet." "I can't find them." "You haven't looked yet. Look on the baskets in the closet, there are labels." "I can't find them." "Go read the labels." (he leaves the room for about 20 seconds.) "I can't find them." "I know that there are Popsicle sticks in there. Why don't you look through the baskets." "I did, I can't find them. Come help me." "I am making dinner right now, and this is YOUR project, and you could look for Popsicle sticks as easily as I could, so no, I will not go look for them for you. You can find them. You have not even looked yet." "I can't! I can't find them! I don't know where to look!!!!" "I am not going to come look for you when you have not even looked yet." "I can not believe my own mother won't help me with a school project! You are my MOTHER!" "You can use Popsicle sticks or not, I don't care. But I am not doing something you can do yourself. If you need real help with your project, something you can not do yourself, I will help. But looking for Popsicle sticks...seriously???? You have not even looked yet. LAZY." "Fine! I won't even DO a project then! I'm not doing it. I am NOT doing my project." "If you choose not to present a project, that is your choice. You will get an F and that totally goes against your whole plan and ambition to get great grades from now on, but that is your choice I guess." "Fine. I don't care." "YOU GET IN THERE AND LOOK THROUGH THOSE FREAKING BASKETS AND FIND YOUR FREAKING POPSICLE STICKS OR I SWEAR YOU WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOM FOR SPORTS OR ANY OTHER FUN ACTIVITY UNTIL YOUR PROJECT IS FINISHED! WHAT IS WRONG WITH LOOKING FOR YOUR OWN DAMN POPSICLE STICKS! IF I HEAR ANOTHER WORD FROM YOU ABOUT ME LOOKING FOR YOUR POPSICLE STICKS I WILL GO BIZERK!!!!!" (I leave the room. I go back to what I was doing. 20 minutes later he walks into the kitchen with his Popsicle creation finished. He is calm as can be.) "I found the popsicle sticks. I made this. Like it?" "Yup. Can I ask you a question?" "Yes." "Why do we have to have that situation time and time again, where you won't do what I ask until I have gone crazy on you yelling and losing it? Why can't you respond well the first time I ask?" "Never mind. You can't ask a question." "Too late. Answer me." "I don't know. I DON'T know." And I really think he doesn't know. So, solving this problem is going to take a while. I know that me going crazy and using a mean voice gets the reaction I want...gets him to respond the way I want him to...gets him to finally do what needs to be done, but I do not enjoy going bizerk, and I resent having to act like a crazy person for my son to be able to finally respond. Love this boy. Love his creative mind, his passionate disposition. And as I just wrote last night (and possibly jinxed this whole evening into action), I have been loving making music with him, and loving the relationship we share because of it. But I do not love the senseless fights. I pray that my son remembers this fight the next time he doesn't want to do something, and can use my craziness for good, by trying to avoid this whole situation again. It is getting really old.

Calm the Storm

Jack and I have butted heads on many things for oh, about the past 9 years. Lately though, we have had some really special time together. I'm loving practicing with Jack for his Christmas recital. He will be playing a piano piece, singing along with a guitar piece that he will play and then sing a solo to Mary Did You Know at the microphone while I play piano accompaniment. He is very into his singing, and loves to practice with me! It is sooooo great to have found something we both like doing together, and what better pastime than making music together. It is more than just something to do together. It is creating something together. Creating a feeling and a sound, and melding together to accomplish what we are trying to do is very inspiring! Best of all, we aren't fighting at all - the storm has been calmed by this mutual love of making music together! I am reminded that God's hand is in everything. I love Jack's enthusiasm, his self-improvement (for his voice has gotten better), and his bravery to perform in front of others. I look forward to many years of him letting me play back-up : ))) "Mary did you know, that your Baby Boy would calm the storm with His hands?"

My little Subs

So it was ladies basketball night again, but tonight I also got to play with my boys. We didn't have enough players, so Scotty and Jack got to sub! They did great! I was very proud of my little basketball players tonight. Not just for being able to hang with us old ladies, but for being comfortable enough to get in there and play with us. I think I may have been too shy as a kid to play a pick up game with a bunch of adults. I enjoyed Scotty's little grin when he would sink one. I liked catching a pass from him to sink one myself. I also enjoyed watching Jack dribble around saying, "I'm dribbling around in circles!" He was very cute and did a great job for a 4th grader amidst a bunch of ladies. They were both thrilled to get to stay up past 10 pm. I am sure I will pay for that in the morning. So, that's another good night of exercise for my boys who I am trying to keep from becoming sloths. Also I don't want to forget: -after cleaning up a spilled drink, a banana mess, and more, I locked Charlie in the playroom by shutting the gate so that he could be kept safely out of trouble while the rest of the "getting ready" portion of our morning was underway. He proceeded to balance 2 small folding chairs on top of each other, climb up them and try to climb over the gate! He is really something else. -Ben surprised me today. He had his first real punishment today, because he usually does nothing to warrant one. We were cleaning the basement together today and I see all these holes in the toy closet door. Like 1 inch diameter holes. I ask what happened and Ben ends up admitting that he and a friend poked them all in there with pool cues! 8 holes. And so he once again drives home the point...we can't have anything nice. So I made him finish cleaning and spend the rest of the afternoon/evening in his room. I went to bring him his dinner up there and he had fallen asleep. I am sure I will be paying for this at like 3am with a hungry 5 yr old.

The Run

After finding a bunch of empty candy wrappers in my sons' room, I took my 2 big boys on a run tonight, after a big lecture about eating healthier etc. Here is how the conversation went on the little 2mi run: Me: Ok guys, we're going to do 2 miles running and walking a bit. Son 1: 2? I think we should start with 1 mi this week, 2 mi next week and 3 mi on the 3rd week and then we will be ready for the Turkey Day run. Me: Nope, we're doing 2 tonight. We will walk here and there, but mostly run. Son 2: I feel great! This is awesome! I don't want to walk, I could run all night, I could run backwards (he runs backwards), I could run while talking, I could go faster, want to go faster? (he goes faster) Me: Settle down. Son 1: (huffing and puffing) Is it time to walk now? Me: Nope. You guys are doing great. Keep it up. We are just getting warmed up. Son 1: You said we would walk AND run, not just run for a long time... Me: Relax, you are doing fine. You have to push yourself a little bit. Son 2: I LOVE this! (he starts highkicking his knees as he runs) I think we should run the whole way, mom, want to just run the whole thing, never walk? Son 1: NO! You said we would walk too! When are we going to walk?! Me: You guys are doing awesome, now we are warm. Lets keep running for a while. Son 1: Grrrr. Me: I tell you what, I think you guys can finish running this 1st mile. It is just 4 blocks away, lets run till the end of the 1st mile, then we will walk a quarter mile, run a quarter mile, walk a quarter mile, run a quarter mile? K? Son 2: That sounds great! Or we could just run the whole second mile, I could run the whole thing. Me: No, I said we would walk some, we will speed walk. but we are going to walk a little. Son 1: (Sigh of relief) Me: Come on guys we are almost there, you can do it! We reach the end of the first mile. Boys are proud of themselves. I begin to speedwalk and they follow suit. Me: We are going to speed walk till the end of this street, then start running ok? Son 1: OK! Son 2: OK! We start running again. Both boys are doing well. They are in a rhythm and don't even complain much for the quarter mile run. (which is actually longer than a quarter mile, and the walk was shorter). Me: Ok, when we get to the street ahead we will walk again. We get within 10 steps of the street: Son 1: Ok, time to walk! Son 2: I can carry on an entire conversation, mom, I can talk this whole time and just keep talking, and never stop, what do you want to chat about, want to chat? Me: Well, so can I, but I am not going to! Son 1: (laughing) Me: You guys are doing super. One more block then we are running till we get to our house. We begin running. Son 1: Huff, huff puff. Me: Are your shoes untied? Have they been all loose and barely tied the whole run? Son 1: Yes. Me: Honey! That is not good for your feet, plus that makes you slower. You should always have your shoes tied tightly and snuggly for a run. Son 1: Oh, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch... Me: Feet hurt? Son 1: No, my side. Too much dinner. Me: Breathe steady, in your nose, out your mouth. Son 2: That's what I do. I take a big breath in my nose, then blow it out my mouth. That's how you are supposed to breathe when you run. When I ran track (for one year) we used to run like this for practice. (and he begins running sideways crossing his feet over one another). Me: Fabulous dear, but it is dark and you are going to sprain an ankle. Son 2: Ya, my ankle hurts right now, and my back, but I am totally fine, I'm just going to keep going through the pain. I am totally fine! Son 1: Ouch, Ouch, Ouch. Me: You have to let me push you a little. You know, when I go to the gym, there are people there who yell at me, "Go Julie! You can do it! Pick up that bar! Finish it! You can do it! Let's go!" Son 1: That would make me mad to have people yelling at me. Why do you go back there? Me: No! They are helping me do my best. If I had let you quit when you wanted to, you would have stopped at the first street. And look at you, you have almost finished 2 miles! We are almost there, guys, you are doing super great! Awesome! Very good first run. And we get to the house and they crash on the sofa with water, and frankly, I am barely winded, so I am very proud of myself for being in better shape than a 9 and 11 yr old, but also super ashamed for my kids being in such crappy shape! (admittedly, the 9 yr old did well), but really, I remember being able to run forever as a kid. Today there are too many damn video games. And too much homework, and too much TV. When I was little we played outside when it was cold, we just wore a jacket. There was nothing to do inside anyway. And nothing good on tv till after dinner. Lately I think my kids have plenty of fun stuff to do inside, so they may play outside for a bit, but when they get bored or chilly, instead of thinking of something else to play outside, they know they have go-to fun right inside the door. I'm cracking down...and just in time for winter...this should be interesting.

Sweet Charlie

ok, I just had to add a quick post to say that my sweet Charlie keeps pointing to fairies and angels on tv or in books and saying emphatically, "There's you mommy! There's you!" I cannot think of anything sweeter than that!!!!

Visiting Highschools

Today my husband and I took our 6th grader to some high school open houses. We had our 4th grader tag along. We gave Scotty a pep talk if you will about remembering to politely shake hands and look people in the eye when he spoke. After today, my husband and I realize we will not have to give the same pep talk to our 4th grader when it is his turn to tour the schools. While being given tours by faculty and students, Scotty kept very quiet, just grinning when Science Lab was mentioned, and eyebrows raising as we entered the library and the Mac labs. However, Jack was an animated listener with a flood of questions. Below are just a few things that came out of his mouth during the tours. Some were mentioned only to my husband and I, but the others were asked to the tour guides, along with many more questions (at least one per being asked "are there any questions?") throughout the day. When we're in high school, will we have to shave? Can you be a sophomore and date a junior? Do high schools have weekends? Summer? This school is worth having to go to school. I'm not saving up for a car I'm saving up for college. Where did you get that idea for the Bilikin? Does this school have a theme? Do you celebrate things here? (After being given a big talk from a counselor about scholarships and collage choices after their school) What are we talking about here? Are we talking about getting good grades? Jack also asked questions in the Science lab, the Art room, the cafeteria, the theater, the gym, the hallways, the game room, really pretty much everywhere. So, I feel today was a success on a couple of levels. We got to see a couple schools. Scotty got to check out what high school has to offer. And the big perk: Jack is excited about going to high school and at least for the moment is determined to get good grades so he can make it into a cool high school like he saw today. Also I don't want to forget: -Charlie just insisted so strongly that his dad's toothbrush was his, that I finally just said, ok, fine it is yours. -I cut Ben and Charlie's hair tonight. Charlie just saw his hair all over the floor and I keep hearing him say, "That my hair down there!" -All through mass and on the way out of church Jack kept trying to tell me something and I kept shushing him. When we got out of mass Jack was really ready to talk. I said, what is it and he begins to say this, "Mom, does Sophia (his friend of like 8 years who he has quite a crush on) have her ears pierced?" I tell him I am not sure, and he tells me, "Well, can you find out, because I would like to get her a pair of earrings for Christmas?" What is going on? He is nine! I mention that perhaps he's a little young to give a girl jewelry, but he just chuckles and says something about it just being a friendly gift or something. Can't decide if I think this is ok or not. I think I think it is fine. I mean I actually like the fact that he really thinks about what she would want for a gift, and wants to make her happy. He is going to make a very romantic, good husband some day. But in the mean time I may just lock him in his room until he is like 25.

Honey and Nail Polish

Mom: "Charlie, why did you put honey all over your legs and all over the floor?" Charlie: (smiling with pride) "Charlie did it!" Mom: "Charlie, why did you do it?" Charlie: "I no hab honey on my legs." Mom: "I know, Charlie, I washed it off. But why did you do it?" Charlie: "Mommy wash off." Mom: "Yes, I washed it off. Do you like honey?" Charlie: "NO." Mom: "What DO you like?" Charlie: "Apples, Bannas, boffles." And the conversation continues like this for forever, where Charlie endears me with his cuteness and wriggles out of any sort of sticky situation he may have been in because he endears me with his speech impediments and smiles. A similar conversation was also had the next day. I came home from a photo shoot to the smell of ...what was it?...turpentine? Paint remover? Alcohol? Nail polish remover? Bingo on all of the above. My husband is on the floor amidst a 3 foot by 8 foot puddle of goo gone etc and he is saying, "YOUR son is a little TERROR! YOUR son just tried to paint his own toenails and spilled nail polish everywhere." I look right and I see the destruction on the wood floor. I look left and there are my knee-high black leather boots covered in pink and sparkle nail polish. I look dead ahead and there he is, the culprit, grinning ear to ear and sporting a rainbow of pinks covering his feet, legs, and belly. "Charlie, are you supposed to paint your toenails?" Charlie: with pride, "I did it!" At least he takes responsibility. Just trying to look at the positives. And how about these positives to boot: Charlie is very comfortable with his parents. He doesn't have an unhealthy fear of us (although a little fear might be ok at some point). Charlie knows what foods are healthy, honey is actually quite good for you. Charlie is a smart boy, I mean he managed to make these 2 huge messes and then be so incredibly cute in explaining himself that we just hug him. Hug him?! Seriously? I can guarantee that a HUG is one thing I did NOT get after I made a huge mess as a child. We better start cracking down. I'll let you know how that goes.