Girls Night Out

Elaina and a friend of hers both have October birthdays. So, in lieu of a big huge party of all the girls in both classes, and in lieu of inviting just a few girls over and hurting all the other girls' feelings, her friend's mother and I decided we would just take our 2 daughters out on the town together to celebrate. A genius idea really. I mean, they absolutely LOVED dressing up in their party clothes, eating in a fancy restaurant, then heading back to my empty house (boys were at a late movie) to have a fancy dessert, open the gifts they picked out for each other, watch Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses, and have their toenails done by their moms while wearing my big fluffy robes. And bonus, I absolutely loved it too! After the kids being on the "wrong" side of a couple birthday party invitations, I have a hard time with the whole birthday party situation in the younger grades. As the kids get older I suppose they begin to make closer friends, and end up in a smaller tight-knit group, but until then, I just don't seem to have it in me to leave anyone out. We are so lucky to have such a nice large group of cousins for our kids to share their birthdays with. We get to theme the family parties for them, and then really try to make their birthday special in ways other than some big friend shindig where we have to make difficult decisions about whom to invite and how many etc. Tonight was lovely, and I believe Elaina will remember this evening as a very special birthday, and it was spent with one good friend and 2 moms. Thank you Lord for the gift of simplicity.

Flu Shots

mom: Ok, who is going to go first? Jack: I will, I love shots, they don't hurt at all! Ben: I don't really want to do it. What do I get? mom: Just a little shot in the arm. Ben: No I mean don't I get a treat or something after it!? mom: Oh, ya, how about we go out to lunch? Ben: OK. So, I begin filling out the paperwork and Jack gets his shot, and says, "That did not hurt a bit." Elaina proceeds to have a similar reaction. Ben gets brave and keeps a straight face, and then even says, "That did not hurt at ALL!" And then I have Jack hold Charlie's hands down while he gets his shot, since I am still doing paperwork for the shots. (With my first couple babies and toddlers, I held their hands, told them I was there for them, explained how it would all be over soon. Then I would hug them after as they cried in my arms, nursing them even if they had quit nursing at this point in their lives) Today, however, Jack took care of it quite well, Charlie didn't flinch, or at least I don't think he did - I was not paying that close of attention. Then we get up to leave and realize I had not gotten mine yet. So, I hop up on the bench thing, and my kids all tell me how it won't hurt much, and how brave I should be. When it is all over, we head to grab lunch and play at the zoo for a while. Hopefully that was a sufficient "treat" for Ben after his shot. A pretty darn painless ordeal to say the least. Also I don't want to forget: -Today at the zoo Elaina saw a couple zoo workers moving 2 lamas across the zoo on foot with leashes. She jumped up from her spot on the picnic blanket and ran yelling "Lamas!" toward them. The lamas seemed to sense her coming because about that time they began to stir and give their walkers quite a struggle! Sorry, lama walkers. Elaina could not contain herself. Her love for animals can not be suppressed. -Also at the zoo I sooooo enjoyed Ben and Charlie's utter excitement at the monkeys. Charlie saw the lemurs, started yelling "ZABOO!" and ran up to the glass bouncing around like a monkey himself. In the bird house, Ben was enthralled with the owls. He kept saying, "Owls are just my favorite ones mom!" I wish I could get him an owl. -Was looking around for Jack today and found him in Elaina's room helping her curl her dolls hair with rollers. He was being very sweet with her. Glad to see that. -Parent teacher conferences were this evening for Jack and Elaina. These two are out-of-the-box learners. Right now, they have teachers that realize this and are willing to try new things with them. Thank you Lord for caring teachers.

Basketball

So, I am playing basketball with my girlfriends again this season. We meet, split into two teams and scrimmage for an hour. It is super fun, and great exercise. What does this have to do with my kids? Well, I think it is good for my kids to see me doing something healthy, active and fun for myself. I want my kids to get into sports, realize that their mom can teach them something about sports and have as much fun with sports in their lives as I have in mine. They can play any sport they want, it doesn't have to be a sport I played or play, as long as they play at, work hard at and become familiar with some sport. There are so many good things that sports teach kids. And the lessons go beyond teamwork and competitiveness. They can learn a lot about self discipline. Working extra on a shot or a swim stroke on their own after practice can get them comfortable with not always being the best at something from the get go, but working to better oneself. The same may apply to their situation in the classroom, and so begin to make them more comfortable understanding that they have to work harder at some things than other kids, but that is ok. And on the other hand, if perhaps their sport becomes something they excel more easily in than others do, then they learn both compassion and understanding for their peers and also gain some self confidence by having something they are really good at, be a part of their life. I tend to believe there is some sport for every person. And finding at least one for each of our kids is my goal. So far they want to try everything, so I guess soon I will be wishing they would narrow down their choices. But for now, we are into it: Soccer Volleyball Basketball Lacrosse Swimming Wu Shu (a type of Kung Fu) Baseball Golf Also I don't want to forget: -Charlie (2) is really into saying "No Way!" He crosses his arms over his chest and puts on the cutest pouty face and says "No Way, Mom!" whenever he doesn't want to do something, or just doesn't like the plan I am laying out before him. For instance: "Charlie, this restaurant has chicken!" "No Way Mom!" "Well, yes they do, and you like chicken..." "No Way!" "Oooooo, and you can sit in this big highchair and have an applejuice!" "No Way Mom! I no hab applejuice. I walk and I hab you soda." He usually gets his way because I am so impressed by his ability to express what he wants and doesn't want so clearly at age 2. So I am sure he will be quite the stinker of a 3 yr old. I should probably crack down...He just melts me. -Tonight after quite the scene, where Charlie screamed at the babysitter that he wanted mommy (who was downstairs working) to lay down with him in his bed, and continued screaming at the top of his lungs and crying for what seemed like forever, I finally went upstairs and laid down with him. He immediately snuggled into me and looked me in the eyes and said, "I lub you mom." in the calmest voice ever. "I like you mom." How can I compete with THAT!? A mother does not have the kind of reserves needed to compete on that level. He is goooood. He is very good.

Reverse Psychology

"Charlie, you can't eat your chicken, no you can't, don't you eat your chicken!" and he eats his chicken. "Charlie, don't you pick up those toys, don't do it, don't you put those toys away!" and he puts them away. "Charlie, you can't sit still, don't you sit still, don't you sit in that seat!" and he sits in the seat. And this is how I intend to potty train him too. Anyone with a problem with that can come on over and potty train my son any time they like. I'm sure once I get through potty training and maybe the terrible 3s, I will be able to find a way to reverse the damage I have done to my child with all of the reverse psychology that works so well on him now.

Notes from the Family Meeting

1. Use the kids saved up money that they have been saving for charity to pay for the boxes of toys to mail to husband's cousin for the poor in Mexico. And also some leftover $ for animal shelter. 2. Elaina's chores - feed the dog and give him water and teach him tricks. Pick up her own clothing off of her bedroom floor. Read her phonics books. Behave better in church. 3. We will now have a basket that I will use to collect anything that is out of place in our home. The kids will have 24 hours to put their stuff where it belongs. If it is not done by morning, they can buy their stuff back for a dollar per item. Repeat each day. 4. Grades - Jack: a week's worth of classwork of 80% or higher = 1 hour of one on one time with mom or dad (watching tv, having a milkshake, playing wii...) Email Jack's teacher because Jack would like to switch to a table where he is not so tempted to talk. 5. Scotty - work on the following social oddities: talking to others while they are already talking, or they are very obviously busy. Slow down your speech so others can understand you. Perhaps keep a little notebook in your pocket, Scotty, so you can write down what you are so excited to talk about, and then when there is a nice moment to talk with mom or dad or whomever, you can look at your list and begin talking about what you have written down, instead of trying to say it while mom is on the phone and on her computer and trying to schedule a babysitter all at the same time. 6. Jack - work on the following social oddities: Stop hugging people who don't want to be hugged. Stop acting like the parent toward your siblings. Mom and Dad will take care of that. Meeting was followed by a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving movie and a turkey placemat craft where each child made their own placemat that had handprint turkeys and said what they are thankful for: -Daddy. -Mommy. -family, friends, others and God. -all the things mom and dad do for us whether we know it or not. -everything that I like, and also everyone having a good time at their house. At the next meeting we will collect the charity money and get the info for where to mail the toys we have collected. We will also look into Scotty and Jack opening their own savings accounts for the money they are saving from allowances and extra chores.

HALLOWEEN

Every year I'm the "candy-giver-outer" and my husband and Father in law take the kids trick or treating. But this year we switched it up and left my inlaws, manned with wine, beer and a huge bowl of candy, to give out the candy in front of the house near our fire pit, in front of our Halloween display in the front yard, while my husband and I headed into the neighborhood with the kids to beg for candy. Outfitted as a headless horseman, a hobo, a cat princess, a Dracula and a super monkey, the kids and my husband and I set off as soon as it began to get dark with a wagon in tow in case the super monkey got tired. The big kids would run ahead and we would try to count heads in the dark, praying all the while that they would stop at streets and stay together. The little ones would enchant the homes with their mixed up jokes and little songs. And super monkey, well, he would spend time enjoying every Halloween decoration all the way up to the houses and all the way back down. At one house he insisted on petting every pumpkin light all the way down the driveway. He also had 3 things he had to say at every house. And he would always say them, although not always in the correct order - but that made it even funnier - "Wick o tweet. Wank you. Happy Halloweens!" At one point Scotty was taking a long time at one of the homes. My husband says, hurry up Scott, what's taking you so long? He says, "Dad, I am telling my jokes and saying thank you." THAT child I will claim. A couple others who said their obligatory "trick or treat" and dug for their favorite candy in the bowl - well, at least they weren't smashing pumpkins. All that sugar in their bellies and friends tagging along, and excitement about the next house - I'm surprised they could speak at ALL. And this all brings us to this morning. Trying to get them out of bed for school. One has already mentioned a belly-ache, and one is still snoozing and won't budge. Super Monkey somehow is rearing to go though. I guess the fact that he ate each piece of candy as he received it at each house somehow has not affected him negatively in the least...well, other than the fact that making it through mass this morning on the sugar high he is on should be an adventure. Happy Halloween. Time to put up the Thanksgiving decorations and begin playing the Christmas music!

The ER trip

Last night was one of many little ER trips on which I have accompanied my children. I get the call while visiting my sis in law in the hospital with her newborn son. Just getting ready to shoot his nebeorn photos and my phone rings. My Husband: "Julie, when are you coming home?" Me: "Not for a while, just getting started." My Husband: "Oh. Well, we've had a little accident. (here is where I begin praying "let them be ok, let them be ok, let them be ok") Elaina is going to be ok. She and Ben were playing with sticks (Here is where I begin praying "not her eyes, not her eyes, not her eyes....") in the backyard and somehow she got a gash on her forehead that probably requires stitches or glue." Me: relieved. "Ok, why don't you bring her to this hospital and I will meet you in the ER." (Here is where I start thinking "plastic surgeon? right on her forehead...she looks great without bangs...but I guess if it looks bad she could wear bangs...") These thoughts are laced with much thankfulness that this is all I have to worry about, a little scar. So many people in the ER have soooo much more to worry about than a little scar. There is a woman in there with the most bruised face I have ever seen. There is a man with his head all wrapped up in gauze. There is another woman with a huge gash in her head that has been sewn shut. And here is where I pray Elaina will never have to be in the ER for any of these situations. So, I finish up the photos of my new little nephew, and then head down to the ER. Elaina looks great. The "gash" is just a half a centimeter, but does require some glue. We hang out in the waiting area with grandma and grandpa, get the glue, then head to Steak and Shake because a trip to the ER, however minor, requires ice cream afterwards. Grandma comments on my "calmness" during the situation. I can't help but think about one thing - If my husband's voice had been uncalm, or if my husband had said anything that made me worry about my child's real health, the situation would have been much different. These children are so precious. And they start out so small, like my new nephew, so dependent on us for their every need. We care for them and try so hard to keep them safe and still let them have fun. But the truth is, we worry constantly once they are out of our arms, out of that bubble we get to keep them in as newborns, that they will come to harm. So many "sticks" out there in the world...I pray that my kids just put the darn sticks down, and get some really good reflexes to avoid the "sticks" in their lives.