I have made it - this is my 365th motherhood post. And it has only taken me one and half years to do a year's worth of posts. My goal was to post daily for one year and so to have 365 posts by day 365. Failed. However, as so many things in motherhood, a failure is sometimes also a success. I wanted so badly to be able to blog every day, but everyday things began to get in the way: There were nights I could not blog because I fell asleep in bed snuggling with one of the kids. There were nights I missed a blog because we were watching a movie together as a family. And there were many nights that I didn't blog because I was just too darn tired from a stressful, or a physically exhausting day of the tasks of motherhood like grocery shopping, homework helping, bike riding, etc. And in this failure to blog my 365 days in a row, my success is in just what I am blogging about - motherhood. I do not mean success as in "I have it all down, I am the best mom ever" - rather, I mean success in this: I am enjoying being a mother at times, I am struggling in motherhood sometimes, and I am tired from being a mother sometimes, but at all times I am thankful for being a mother.
Sex makes us pregnant, but God makes us mothers. Prayers to God throughout our days of wiping bottoms, fighting with 10 yr olds, crying over homework, and stressful decision making make us mothers. Last week I felt like I ran the entire stretch of ups and downs and emotional and physical motherhood. I fought with my 10 yr old to the point that we were both crying. I reconciled with that same child to the point where we both were crying. I left in my car frantically looking for my 12 yr old when he was 20 minutes late. I took my 3 and 6 yr olds to the zoo and laughed harder than I have in a very long time as we all watched the hippos mating and pooping right in front of us. I remembered my own childhood as I played Barbies with my daughter. I rejoiced with my son when he brought home 3 A's in one day after many days of struggling in class. No other calling in life can give you so many different and genuine feelings and no other calling can give each of these feeling to you all in the course of a day.
I thought I would blog so as to remind myself of these funny and touching times of motherhood that I do not want to forget, but I have received a much bigger blessing. When I blog I remember things in my day that I become quite thankful for. When I go through my day with the kids I am inspired to do "blogworthy" activities! When I talk to my blog readers I find that they are going through many of the same things I am, so it is nice to never feel alone. I go back and read old blogs often. I am stricken by how many times I have forgotten about the blog which I am reading. Funny things the kids say slip my mind. Accomplishments get forgotten. Activities we have done and had so much fun doing surprisingly get forgotten also. Preserving these memories a bit by writing them down, reading them, rereading them, bring me joy and remind me that my children are just that - my children - My memories are their memories, and we can share them forever. As long as I stay present in their lives, we will always have these memories and moments, whether it is over the kitchen table, or over the phone.
I am not by any means finished blogging. I plan to continue perhaps forever, whenever I have the chance. But in this month of thankfulness, I am extremely thankful for the ability to go through my 365 days of blogging, and read about 365 different memories for which I will be forever thankful.
I don't want to forget:
- Yesterday someone was whistling, and Charlie (3) says, "I can whistle pretty good through my nose, when I sometimes have a big booger in there."
I mean thank GOODNESS I am writing this stuff down! You can't make up stuff this good!