A few questions

Do super-models let their kids climb on them?
-Charlie was climbing up onto my head while I was watching a sitcom. He was literally planting his knee on my boob and his foot on my shoulder and then kneeing me in the face with his other knee, and sitting on my head, and then kicking me in the face with his foot. He was cracking up as he climbed and having such a lovely time. As I was taking the abuse at the expense of my son's happiness I began to wonder...Do super-models let their kids climb on them? I mean, they would get all bruised up as I do, and as a photographer who has done many post photography touch-ups, I know I like it better when there are less blemishes to fix. So, it got me wondering. I am not sure I could give up wrestling with my kiddos for a modeling career. Fortunately, no one has approached me and forced me to make that excruciatingly difficult decision. ; )

Am I the only one that smells that?
-There was a smell randomly emanating from around the trash cans in the kitchen. It smelled chemical. We searched the area. We emptied, cleaned out, hosed down, bleached and scoured the cans. We put new scented bags in the cans. Still smelled it. Today while cleaning out Jack's locker in the mudroom, I found in his backpack a very old lunch. There was a moldy piece of unrecognizable fruit in it (size and previously the shape of an orange). There was the smell. The mudroom is no where near the trash cans...There must have been a moldy orange somewhere!!! So glad Jack's laziness about cleaning up after himself helped to solve this mystery.

How many kids does it take to clean up a back porch?
-I asked them a zillion times to clean it up. The back porch  had dirty clothing, shoes, toys, bubble apparatus, leaves, branches, baseball bases, dishes and more all over it. The boys came inside saying that they were finished after having taken the shop vac, sponges, brooms and soap outside. I went to check on their work. I saw dirty clothing, shoes, toys, bubble apparatus, leaves, branches, baseball bases, dishes and more. When I mentioned that they HAD DONE NOTHING!!!! Their response was something like, "oh, I didn't know you wanted us to clean that part up." I do not actually understand them at all.

How much cash can we spend at our School Festival?
-Tonight we are headed to St. Peterfest. Food. Rides. Games. 5 kids. I will report on the damage to our wallet later. Suffice it to say, Our pastor loves us.

Why is there a folded shirt in the dirty laundry?
-Right in the middle of a rant about the kids not understanding how much I do for them, and a few threats about them leaving their room "looking like this ever again..." I am sorting laundry and I come across a folded long-sleeved shirt. 1.It is summer. 2.It was quite clean. 3.It was FOLDED.  Want to see me go bizerk? Put folded laundry in the clothes hamper.

Did our yorkie really just eat a squirrel???
-As if the 5 kids, their lack of decency, neatness etc...weren't enough for me to clean up after...I walk outside to the sound of screaming from my children to find our family dog not just smelling, not licking...no, chomping down on some sort of rodent, either a squirrel or a chipmunk!!!! Gagging ensued from not just me, but my poor friend on the other end of the phone line with whom I had been chatting. When I started gagging on the line and explained why, she could barely contain her own insides I am sure! Call me evil, or call me a genius, but I made that dog stay outside for the next 36 hours at least, and then took him straight from the back yard to the groomer. If our dog was going to barf up chipmunk parts, it was NOT going to be on my rug.

Good times.