Wednesday, March 23, 2011

FAMILY Vacations

Its not that I don't enjoy that my kids have friends. I'm thrilled when they make good friends. I stress when they don't make close friendships. I try to find moms of children I like to be MY friends, so our kids can be friends. I schedule playdates, put my kids on teams with their friends and talk to them a lot about what it means to be a good friend. But let me explain where friends don't belong - on our family vacations. (This obviously does not include when we go to visit our friends out of town during our family vacations - that is different and lovely.) Yesterday while standing in line with Elaina for the water slides at The Great Wolf Lodge so many awesome "family moments" happened right before my eyes. Moments that would have been obsolete if each kid had a friend along. I would have missed seeing Scotty and Jack figure out together how to get the enormous double tube up the 8 flights of stairs together. I would have missed their laughter as they dropped the tube, and their ranting through laughter as they recalled the slide they just finished riding together. I would have missed seeing them negotiate together on which slide to ride next. I would have missed Elaina talking me into riding a terrifying "toilet bowl" double tube slide. I would have missed playing mermaids with Elaina in the "grotto." I would have missed racing Ben down a super fast slide and hearing him excitedly explain to me how fun it is to go on "the dark ones that you are scared of mom." I would have missed seeing my 2 older boys "sneak" out at 10pm to go play the Magiquest hotel wand game together for some "big boy" time, and missed getting their arguing phone call about what they each wanted to do next - but also I would have missed hearing Scotty eventually be understanding to his brother's request for him to help him get caught up in the game. I would have missed seeing Jack take his little brother Ben off to do a bunch of Magiquest quests together, and Scotty take his little sister Elaina to do the same. I would have missed snuggling and watching a movie with Elaina. The list goes on. When we rely on each other for their fun and their joy and their comfort, we build stronger relationships. I mentioned how "I would have missed...." But the truth is THEY are the ones who would have missed out much more than me - THEY will only forge these friendships with each other by BEING with each other. Within our own family is the place we can truly be ourselves. No one knows us better than our family. It is very similar when we vacation with extended family. Keeping cousins close is a beautiful thing too. And how wonderful for my kids to witness me interact, negotiate, tease, and find joy with MY own siblings too. How blessed we are to have so many built in friends right here within our own family.

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