On Their Own

So, this was it, the first time we let "the big kids" Scotty and Jack (11 and 9) really go off on their own...together...with their cousins...with a cel phone...with explicit instructions and threats and synchronized watches...to have some big kid fun. Epcot is a circle, so much easier to navigate than the other parks. And since Disney has installed a super fun scavenger hunt for my "big kids" age group, we felt it was time. Today Scotty and Jack were more thankful, chatty and sweet than usual once we all met back up a few hours later. It had to be because of having gotten to enjoy some freedom. And feeling thankful towards me for that. I always hear the little sayings about "loving someone and setting them free, cutting the chord, untying the apron strings etc."But I have always thought I wouldn't have to worry about that whole idea until they were like headed off to college. Truth is, I think life throws these little tests in our paths, stuff to get us ready. So that when college, or marriage, or driving school comes along, we are less likely to totally freak out. Other little tests I am reminded of now: letting my 1 yr old figure out the stairs, letting my daughter deal on her own with peers telling her they don't like her drawing, holding in my gasp when each of my kiddos has gone down on their knees on the sidewalk, letting my kids start swimming without their floaties. All these steps may sound like the normal progression of things to a non-parent, but say any one of them to a parent and they will fully understand the strength it takes for a parent to allow these instances to occur, in order to help make their children stronger more capapble adolescents and someday adults. So, I realized today, I am only at the very tip of the iceberg on these "letting go" decisions. There are so many more to come, and I am sure that with each one, I will pray a little harder, worry a little more and pace a little faster. Because after all, even though I may get better at keeping a confident face as I let them go, I will still always be a mom waiting for their safe return back to me. also I don't want to forget: -Charlie's and Ben's faces as the fireworks at Epcot literally lit them up. Charlie pointed and stared in wonder, all smiles. -Elaina's face after she ate her icecream and then my crepe - cream on her nose, chocolate around her mouth... -The fact that Scotty called a crepe a CREEP. So cute. -Ben being so sweetly attached to his cousin, Drew. They have been such wonderful buddies on our trip.