Thursday, May 13, 2010

Acting their age

The band concert featuring our 11-yr-old on the sax and about 100 other kids was.......ambitious. So, in celebration of a performance executed, we headed out for Mexican. Dinner with just the big boys, Scotty (11) and Jack (9), is a rare thing for my husband and I. With five kids we just don't get a lot of 2 on 2 time. We're seated outside, the wind is blowing, the kids are in a happy mood, we have chips and salsa, what more could we ask for? I suppose we could have asked for our children to act their ages! But when I really think seriously about what an 11-yr-old and a 9-yr-old are "supposed" to act like, I begin to give them a break in my head. At school all day our Jack (9) has a hard time sitting still, holding in his jokes, keeping his mind focused on classwork all day. At school Scotty (11) fends off teasing from kids and boredom from uninteresting classes. At school all day they are expected to walk in the hallways, get a drink and use the restroom at specific times, not touch a single other person, obey all of the adults, figure out how not to be the last one picked for kickball, find a place to sit in the cafeteria, try not to trip carrying their lunch tray.... At home, and within our family, I want them to be able to cut loose a little. I hear from people that see my children interact with each other at school, "Your kids are really sweet to each other, they really help each other out. I saw Jack taking Ben to the restroom with his arm around him today. I saw Elaina run up and hug Scotty on the playground." This is not at all to say that they are always perfect model siblings. Rather, I believe in their world of school, that when they see that very familiar face in the hall, or the cafeteria, or the playground, they feel a sense of "home," a place where they can be themselves, bump into each other (literally) and not get in trouble for it, smile or joke together without being reprimanded, trip and not be made fun of. And so, tonight as our boys goofed around a little together at dinner, told silly jokes, and were a bit loud, we eased back on our parental etiquette reminders. We shook our heads at each other over our boys comfort level with each other. We rolled our eyes and hid little smirks at their jests and shoulder punches and general goofiness. And silently, I thanked God for the gift of familiarity, the gift of family, a place where everyone gets to be themselves, the gift of home. also I don't want to forget: -Our new babysitter told us she has never witnessed an easier bedtime than she did tonight with my three youngest. Very proud. -Ben and Charlie have hit the age where they can have fun together on their own. They played on the swings in the backyard together for a lengthy time today, and I should have videoed it because it was adorable. -Scotty was very sound on the sax tonight. His expression during the rest of the concert could not have been more solemn. It was also like 95 degrees in there though, so perhaps he was on the verge of passing out.

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