Public Restrooms

I am not a Germ-o-phobe. I let my kids play in dirt, go shoeless, share drinks a lot etc. We believe in the 5 second rule...or ten second. And I have seen my daughter kiss the dog on the mouth several times and have never thrown up upon watching this. I don't carry hand sanitizer as most mothers do...I try, but I always lose it. I make them wash their hands before they eat if it is at all possible, but I don't always go help them. Macaroni Grill tries to dress it up by teaching you Italian as you pee, Nordstrom puts a sofa loveseat combo in theirs, Westfield malls have children's movies and tiny little toilets for kids. But however you dress it up...It is still a PUBLIC RESTROOM. And here is the alternative: a friend of mine keeps a port-a-potty in her car. She is a very clean person and a germ-a-phobe, so her port-a-potty is likely quite clean. Mine would not be. So, it is public restrooms for us. But for goodness sakes, must we use them at every given chance!? I think my children just love public restrooms. Every time we begin to eat our meal in a restaurant, one of the children under 7 must use the potty. "MOM, I have to go poopers!" Sometimes this is whispered urgently, often it is screamed across the table. I can not ignore it. I have to respond. So, I take said child into the germ-infested, sticky-floored, pee-on-the-seats, water-on-the-counter restroom, and I begin wishing my child were still in diapers. "Don't...touch...ANYTHING." First words out of my mouth, and I swear my children cannot hear them, or they think the word "ANYTHING" does not pertain to the toilet seat, the bathroom wall, the tampon trash can, the floor, the flusher. All of it. Every surface must be examined by their little groping hands. Then I start to lose it yelling, "OH, NO NO NO NO NO!" as they pull down their pants and slide that germ barrier that I have forged with toilet paper on the seat right off of the seat into the toilet and then proceed to smash their underwear that is around their ankles, right up against the toilet bowl! Once, I saw that underwear sliding back and forth on that toilet bowl and I just took it off of my daughter or son, whomever it was, and I made them go commando. Just could NOT put that underwear back on their body. And apparently it is not just MY children. Yesterday, my sis in law had to call for reinforcements into the public restroom when 4 children from the table followed her in there as she began to take her son. And 3 of them all had to poop! What is it!? Are there laxatives in the childrens' meals? I think my parents were better about making us use the bathroom before we left the house for anywhere. I must implement this more. However, I know it wouldn't matter. They just like those darn public restrooms. And so now I have found a new spot for prayer. The public restroom - "Please God, don't let my child get some horrible disease from touching every surface in here. Please make them STOP TOUCHING STUFF! Please help me think of a dinner tonight to fix that will boost their immunities to the diseases of the public! Amen."