Kissing

We are pretty affectionate around here. Lots of hugging and kissing. I don't know how it really started, we just have it in us I guess. We never really made a decision to be a hugging or kissing family, it just sort of happened. I have some Italian blood, so maybe that is part of it, but it is not just me. My husband is quite affectionate with me and with our kids too. He and I hold hands, give a little kiss now and then when we are out and about, rub a shoulder, or give a hug whenever we feel like it. He kisses and hugs the kids a lot. And I am really glad, because I think there are many families where the mom is the lover and the dad gives a back slap which can be ok now and then too, but often is a cop out for real affection. Because of this, our kids have become quite big lovers, and often can be found to a comedic point trying to give a hug to a friend or a cousin who isn't really a hugger until hilarity. Ben (4) was once heard saying, "I can't help it, I'm just a hugger." So, we love to love. Today however, I began to hug my little hugger, Ben, and that was all fine and good with him, but when I went I said "and now for the kisses!" and went in for some under the chin crazy tickle kissing and zerberting, he says giggling, "no, no, no, just the hugging." And he sort of gave me a look like he thinks he is getting too big for this, that this is a "charlie" thing because Charlie had gotten his right before this, and Charlie is 2. I was so sad! I said, "Are you kidding!?" and began to snuggle and kiss him so vigorously that he was cracking up. But then he sort of shook his head at me grinning, like "my mom is a nut" and said again, "no, no kisses." I am not ready for him to be past this stage. I guess it isn't really up to me.........but maybe it is. I think I may be the one who has brought him to this point. When you have a new baby, you sort of start smooching on the new one and while you still love your other children, the new one gets a lot of the physical affection the other one used to get. I have had this talk with many moms. They say, "gosh, I used to smooch on him all the time, but now with little Mary, she gets all the kisses, and I don't smooch on Gabe as much." Or they say, "I feel so bad, my daughter came up to me after I had been smooching on her sister and said, 'My turn! Do that to me now!' I feel so bad that she had to ask!" I guess it is just a natural thing that happens, but I believe the right answer to it, is to continue the affection for everyone! When you have 5 kids, that may mean giving out a lot of love every day, but really not a bad problem to have : ) So, I could listen to my 4 yr old, back off, and stop the kissing, just give a little hug here and there. OR, I could inch him back into the physical shows of love that he has maybe gotten used to not receiving as often as he used to. Guess which I will choose....Oh ya, the love. I'm a lover, its just in me. He will come back over to my side, its in him too, he just forgot for a bit. (By the way, my favorite TV show, Modern Family, did a hilarious skit on parents giving their kids physical affection just this week, and until I was writing this, I had not remembered it! Perfect timing.)