Friday, June 4, 2010

Room to Grow

Ooooo, I hate giving them room to grow. I really like taking and having full control over my kids' actions. I like knowing where they are at all times, who they are talking to, what they are wearing, what they are saying, why they are saying it. I like finding their friends for them. I like keeping them from eating unhealthy foods, planning their snacks and controlling their portions. I like them following me like little ducklings or like a dance train where everyone is connected and stays together. This thought process and whole attitude works just fine for toddlers. Some of it even works out fine for 5-8 year olds. But as I have been experiencing lately with my 11 yr old...I have to give him some freedoms. So, today I let him meet me and the younger kids at the park. We took the car and he showed up later on bike. Then I let him meet us at The Magic House, stay there a half hour longer than us, then stop by a small candy store on his way home on his bike after we had left by car. I was a bit of a wreck, but he had a cel phone with him and checked in appropriately. He stayed on sidewalks the whole time. He didn't talk to strangers. He bought little tiny pieces of candy for his siblings on his way home. So, I think I am ready to let he and his friend, a very responsible girl, ride their bikes to and from the library together this summer. But it won't be near as comforting as taking him there myself. I will worry the whole time he is gone, and probably call his cel 4 times. But I'm a newby at this. Once I mentioned to the mother of a girl down the street who is in Scotty's class that perhaps when they were older they could walk to school together. The mother was like, "Ya, she's been walking to school for like 2 years already." In my defense, this little girl is the youngest of 5. Scotty is the oldest of 5. Big difference. This is that whole "unknown territory" issue again. Until we have seen some smooth transitions to new stages, and some new stages that have worked out well, mothers can't just let go without some major worry and apprehension. Today was a big step for me. And I guess for Scotty too, but he seemed awfully calm about it. In his head he was probably thinking, "My mother could have let me do this years ago." But little did he know, that in my head I was thinking, "Am I letting him do this too early?" I know in my head that it is a good idea to give the kids room to explore, room to make their own choices, room to make their own mistakes, but in my heart it will always be so hard to give them room to grow. also I don't want to forget: -Had soooo much fun at the Cardinals game tonight with Elaina, Ben, my mom and dad and sister! The kids were really good, and funny too. Elaina and Ben both just have this great energy. They think everything is "soooo exciting!" The night was topped off with a fireworks display that they were super excited about. -Charlie was totally trying to ditch me at The Magic House today. rounding corners quickly so I couldn't catch him. At one point it was like a bad after school special: He enters an all mirrored area, I try to follow him, he gets out and rounds a corner before I can catch him, then he re-enters the mirrored area, so I go into the other side of it to catch him on his way out, but when I get in there, he isn't in there, because he must have turned around and left though the in door! And he was my only charge! Scotty had the other two!

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