Walking the line

A song comes on the radio. It is the country song I believe called, "Pray for You" or something like that. It is about a ditched boyfriend who says "Everyone says I should pray for you, so I am. I'm praying that no one calls you on your birthday, all your dreams never come true, a flower pot falls from a window sill onto your head etc...." So, my 11 year old starts cracking up and saying that the song is so funny. I actually really agree with him, but I begin this inner struggle over if I should use this moment as a teaching tool about being kinder or just laugh along with my 11 year old who I don't have a lot in common with right now, but try to pretend I do. I find this inner debate happening pretty often lately as I am talking with my older two boys. Mostly my 11 yr old. I think as they get older there is a real inner struggle for me between wanting to be their buddy so they will feel comfortable telling me stuff and also being their parent so that they stay in line and learn the way to live a moral, good life. It is a bit of a catch 22 though, because in order for them to value what I say at all at their young ages, they have to see that I identify with them at least a little bit. Otherwise, the parent becomes this person who "just doesn't understand! and has no idea what they mean!" So, I think I am deciding that on the bigger things like, disrespectful behavior towards anyone (especially females and adults) I am going to stay in full parent mode. But on the lighter things, like laughing at funny, yet mean, lines in music, I can ease up on the parental comments. The problem comes though in walking the line between what is a big thing and what is a lightweight topic. For this distinction I will have to just try to think what would my mom have done. I turned out fine and I like my mom a lot, so I'll just pray my kids end up with that same outcome as adults and in the mean time tolerate me as well as I tolerate them ; ) also I don't want to forget: -I don't have a lot on my shoulders right now that isn't related to my kids. It is actually kind of nice. I have found myself not just taking them to the park, but actually playing more with them at the park, like picking them up and zerberting them and laughing with them. It is good. -Today was the first day of fun this summer at the pool. Kids had a lot of fun together. Very fun watching the big boys hang out together going off the diving board, and watching the little boys torment each other in the kiddie pool. So glad they have each other. Elaina in true form found herself some girls to pal around with and was in heaven. So glad she makes friends easily. She will need good girlfriends in her life.