What they say

She finishes her ballet recital, we are all so proud of her for doing the right tap steps and smiling the whole time. We congratulate her, we hug her, daddy gives her flowers and a stuffed little doggie. We talk about where we should go to dinner, and Elaina (6) says, "Grandma, you should've gotten me a present, or some flowers." Grandma has raised some kids, so she isn't phased. But I'm like, nice. Really nice. I tell her that is a rude thing to say and that, you don't get gifts after dancing, and that you MIGHT get flowers from your daddy each recital if you are lucky and if you do your best. I mean for goodness sakes have we taught her nothing? She's never heard ME say those words. Soon enough she is trying to give away the flowers daddy gave her anyway. The bottom line is, kids will say embarrassing stuff. I guess it is because they are just experiencing everything for the first time, and they are very honest creatures, and they say what is in their head. I'm guessing Elaina saw someone else get a gift from someone and assumed that's just how it goes. But if she kept her opinions about it to herself, I would be a bit happier. Hopefully next time she will. I recall my sister telling me that once when she herself was pregnant her daughter was with her at church, her daughter pointed to someone sitting behind them at church and said, "Is that lady pregnant too?!" My smart sister just kept facing forward and without looking back at the lady at all who may have been pregnant or perhaps just a really large woman, just said, "No talking in church." Good move. The trick is to dodge these embarrassing situations, because they WILL happen. Or if we can't fully dodge it, just apologize and move on. And if later we can throw in a lesson about it, even better. Later, we are at the restaurant and Elaina is pointing at someone at the table behind me saying, "wow! Look at that tattoo, she has a tattoo mom, wow!" We were at Target once, when my toddler at the time was asking out loud about the person in the wheelchair standing near us. The first time my cleaning lady from Kenya walked into my home, my toddler just stared continually. And how about in public restrooms - I feel like I am on guard continually in there about what I need to be ready to respond to. My kids will be in the stall with me, they'll hear someone pooping or passing gas or whatever and I just begin to pray they don't speak, but it doesn't work and they say things like, "mom, someone is tooting! It stinks in here. Wow, they had to go a lot of potty! Mom why do you have that hair there? Mom, did you wipe good?" And it doesn't help to play deaf, because they will just keep saying it louder and louder. Kids don't take hints. I started thinking that it would be nifty if in public our kids would just go mute for a bit, and then begin to be able to be heard again once we are out of public earshot. But I'm not sure that would be worth missing out on the good things they can do with their words in public, like Charlie (2) making every elderly person's day by waving and saying "hi" to them in grocery store lines, or Elaina making a friend while in line at the post office, or Ben saying "Mom, I love you" right in front of the bitter person who gives me a dirty look while I'm checking out at Macy's with my hands full, or Charlie shaking every one's hands at church and saying, "pssssssssssss" at the sign of peace. So, I guess I will just gear up for some more embarrassing situations, and hope that grandma's hearing begins to go. also I don't want to forget: -you can tell which mom's are the stereotypical "stage mom's" at these recitals, they're the ones wearing stage make-up even though they won't be performing on stage. Weird. -at dinner last night Elaina kept using a grown up voice and saying, "isn't this a nice place, oooo, this bread is delicious, what a lovely place..." -We really missed Scotty and Jack while they were at grandparent's this week. They were hilarious calling home each evening to tell me all the gross stuff they learned from their camp, "Grossology." I had promised them Etiquette classes this summer, and instead I send them to "Grossology" camp...