You Might Be a Mother If...

You might be a mother of young children if... You have ever been awoken at dawn by little fingers prying your eyelids open. You slept with someone who is not your husband last night, and you aren't in trouble for it. Someone ever said to you, "We were upstairs not jumping on your bed." You wiped a nose today other than your own. You put food in your mouth and then realized it had already been in someone elses mouth. You said, "in a minute" twelve thousand times today. You have begun to worry about the amount of hormones that are in your milk in your refrigerator. You ordered 4 snow cones with nerd candy toppings today. You ran someone down in the rain twice to keep them from being struck by lightning in a swimming pool today. You have to chase your remote control, your phone, your pens, your toothbrush, etc...around your house. You have to pry your remote control, your phone, your pens, your toothbrush, etc...from a very tight little grip when you need them. While on a walk you think of getting a petition going that says that everyone should have to back into their driveway, so there would be no backing out. You have tried a banana, grape, monkey snot rainbow flavored snow cone. You pray when you are on a roller coaster. You pray when you are driving in the rain. You pray when you watch the news. You pray a lot. You check everyone in the household's breathing before you can go to bed. You take 3 minute showers about every 3rd day. The artwork on your walls cost you nothing, but it is worth everything to you. You often have small rocks and legos in your pockets. You find legos in your cushions. You find legos in the dishwasher. You find legos in your bed. You never sit on toilets that you don't have to flush first. You worry about education. You worry about pesticides. You worry about preservatives. You worry a lot. You get smacked and punched and instead of being mad, you have to hold back laughter. You get kissed and hugged multiple times a day, even when you are crabby. You are the luckiest woman in the world.