Service

"No, guys, we're going to see the regular Shrek movie, not the 3D one, because Charlie (2) doesn't like to wear the glasses. And it is HIS birthday, so we are doing what he wants to do." "Scotty, can you stop playing video games and go outside and watch Charlie because I really need to take a shower, and I need him supervised for a while." "Kids, this year we are joining a different pool, because we don't want to spend so much money." Tiny sacrifices, really nothing at all. And I get so upset when one of my kids complains about making a sacrifice like one of the ones above. I worry often that because today we can give our kids a lot of what they want every day, that we end up giving it to them. Thankfully, being in a larger family automatically keeps them from getting everything they want. I had a conversation yesterday with a friend about teaching our kids the attitude of "service for others" by getting them involved in something for the community. I think this is a very good idea, however I also believe this attitude can and should be taught at home first within our own family. Perhaps instilling the attitude of service at home, sacrificing for each other, helping each other out will grow into a natural attitude of helping in a larger way. (Or maybe they will get so tired of helping out at home that they will never want to do it anywhere else - I hope not.) Sometimes though, I just get angry with them for not "doing it just because they want to help out!" Teaching consequences, sacrifice, and general helpfulness at home could be exhausting if I had to think about teaching it all the time, but since it is nearly impossible for me to run my household without my kids' help, and sacrifice I am hoping some of it they will come by naturally by growing up here. But kids are still kids and sometimes need a little help getting into the helpful mood, especially as the beginning of summer arrives and my kids seem to think that means they get a pass on anything work related. SO, we have begun a little contest between the kids, related to who helps out the most at home, exercises the most, eats healthiest, etc. mostly fueled by a sticker chart and a very occasional tiny eraser treat. So far the kids are very into it. I received a lot of help with taking out the trash, doing the dishes, cleaning up the playroom and more yesterday. So, I have decided a healthy level of competition can also be good for community service. I mean yes, there are many people in the world who give just for the sake of giving and help just for the sake of helping, but even those people get a tax return on charity giving, resume boosts for having volunteered, and everyone loves the feeling you get from having helped someone out. So, to teach a little service, I have decided to sacrifice my righteous attitude of "they should just do it because they want to be helpful!" and instead try to find a kid-friendly way to get them in the service mood. And hopefully they will learn to love the feeling of helping someone out more than the sticker prize, and this attitude will eventually become a part of their personality. also I don't want to forget: -Charlie turned 2. So, I laid down with him in his bed until he fell asleep, which I had not done in a very long time. I always lay with him a bit, but I always leave before he falls asleep. He wrapped his arms tightly around my neck, he giggled, he poked at my face, he whispered. After a day of stopping him from making messes in cabinets, getting into dangerous drawers, escaping out the dog door, running all over the movie theater, eating popcorn off the movie theater floor...it was nice to be in a safe quiet place together : ) -Jack is very into the summer sticker chart. He was Mr. Helpful yesterday, and I am excited to see what today holds! -Ben (4) wouldn't eat his dinner. So, he didn't get to have popcorn at the movie theater, or dessert. This kid has some will power. He got a little upset, but mostly just said, "I didn't want any dessert anyway." (then looked longingly at me while we all were eating popcorn and dessert) -When Charlie opened his Batman Batcave he yelled "Ooooooo, WoW!" And he loved it! And he slept with Batman.