Balance

Lately I am having a hard time balancing out how much time I want to spend cleaning up, yelling at others to clean up and making my house guest-worthy with how much time I want to spend "playing." I go through this inner struggle in my head often. I tell myself that some day when I am dead, the last thing I want my kids to think about me is that I sure kept a neat house, or that I sure made them clean a lot, or that my carpets always looked really clean. But I also am in a better mood when things are "pretty" and pretty to me means cozy, straight, and smelling nice with candles and perhaps cookies baking in the oven. Obviously we can not always be in that state, but I am finding it harder and harder to get into that state at all lately. Just keeping up (or not keeping up) with laundry and running people places, and cleaning up all the "stuff" all over the house is taking up a lot of time. I put into place all of these organizational tools in our home so that everything has a place, so nothing needs to be lying around. But the things can't get into their spots on their own. So, "less is more" starts to ring in my ears, and I get into a big "get rid of stuff" mode. My son's preschool class did a beautiful project that involved reading a story about a boy who accumulated so much stuff (mostly toys) that he ended up missing the space he used to have in his home. It was so crowded with stuff. He ends up having a sharing party and giving a bunch of stuff away and is happy to have his space back. I like this whole idea, and what better time to clear out some clutter than right before Christmas, when my kids are about to accumulate a lot more "stuff." So, 3 bags were out the door to American Kidney Foundation. But I think I need to fill some more bags, because I still don't smell any cookies baking in the oven. Also I don' want to forget: -Charlie plays on his own just as Scotty used to do. He is building with blocks right now, very into it. And he will sit and look at books for quite a while. Surprising that the 1st and 5th would be so alike in this way. -Last night Scotty said, "Mom, I think tonight before I fall asleep instead of reading my normal fictional novel, I think I am going to read through my 'everything you need to know about math, science, history and grammar' series of books." -Charlie has been running around with one shoe and sock on and one bare foot, for like half an hour. -Jack told me yesterday that he really didn't need very many Christmas gifts this year, maybe just one thing, or even none, because he already has everything he could ever want, family and friends and a home etc. He goes back and forth between saying that, and showing me lego magazines and pointing to his favorites. -I just found Charlie on top of the 5 ft toy shelving in the playroom.