Popsicle sticks

"Mom, I need some Popsicle sticks for a school project." "Ok, There are some in the Art room closet." "I can't find them." "You haven't looked yet. Look on the baskets in the closet, there are labels." "I can't find them." "Go read the labels." (he leaves the room for about 20 seconds.) "I can't find them." "I know that there are Popsicle sticks in there. Why don't you look through the baskets." "I did, I can't find them. Come help me." "I am making dinner right now, and this is YOUR project, and you could look for Popsicle sticks as easily as I could, so no, I will not go look for them for you. You can find them. You have not even looked yet." "I can't! I can't find them! I don't know where to look!!!!" "I am not going to come look for you when you have not even looked yet." "I can not believe my own mother won't help me with a school project! You are my MOTHER!" "You can use Popsicle sticks or not, I don't care. But I am not doing something you can do yourself. If you need real help with your project, something you can not do yourself, I will help. But looking for Popsicle sticks...seriously???? You have not even looked yet. LAZY." "Fine! I won't even DO a project then! I'm not doing it. I am NOT doing my project." "If you choose not to present a project, that is your choice. You will get an F and that totally goes against your whole plan and ambition to get great grades from now on, but that is your choice I guess." "Fine. I don't care." "YOU GET IN THERE AND LOOK THROUGH THOSE FREAKING BASKETS AND FIND YOUR FREAKING POPSICLE STICKS OR I SWEAR YOU WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR ROOM FOR SPORTS OR ANY OTHER FUN ACTIVITY UNTIL YOUR PROJECT IS FINISHED! WHAT IS WRONG WITH LOOKING FOR YOUR OWN DAMN POPSICLE STICKS! IF I HEAR ANOTHER WORD FROM YOU ABOUT ME LOOKING FOR YOUR POPSICLE STICKS I WILL GO BIZERK!!!!!" (I leave the room. I go back to what I was doing. 20 minutes later he walks into the kitchen with his Popsicle creation finished. He is calm as can be.) "I found the popsicle sticks. I made this. Like it?" "Yup. Can I ask you a question?" "Yes." "Why do we have to have that situation time and time again, where you won't do what I ask until I have gone crazy on you yelling and losing it? Why can't you respond well the first time I ask?" "Never mind. You can't ask a question." "Too late. Answer me." "I don't know. I DON'T know." And I really think he doesn't know. So, solving this problem is going to take a while. I know that me going crazy and using a mean voice gets the reaction I want...gets him to respond the way I want him to...gets him to finally do what needs to be done, but I do not enjoy going bizerk, and I resent having to act like a crazy person for my son to be able to finally respond. Love this boy. Love his creative mind, his passionate disposition. And as I just wrote last night (and possibly jinxed this whole evening into action), I have been loving making music with him, and loving the relationship we share because of it. But I do not love the senseless fights. I pray that my son remembers this fight the next time he doesn't want to do something, and can use my craziness for good, by trying to avoid this whole situation again. It is getting really old.